The Sex Lady, “The Talk”, and Telling Boys About Periods

mom and kidsFor the past 8 years, I have taught a Sex Education class at a local high school.  Affectionately known as the “the sex lady” my reputation preceded me and the students were always thrilled when I came for the 4 day seminar.  The genders were combined in the classroom so even the boys learned about periods! While serious, I added a lot of humor to my presentation and it always had great reviews by the kids, but just giving “the talk” is never enough. In fact, without small doses of information along the way, “the sex talk” with your kids can be rendered ineffective for several reasons.  One, the information can be embarrassing and if you haven’t been talking about it their whole lives, then your teens might not be interested in hearing it from you.  Two, chances are that your kids have heard a whole lot more than you think so you both might be uncomfortable. Three, there is a lot to cover in just one “talk” and it might not all sink in.  The point is…give out small bite size pieces about sex, abstinence, purity from the time your kids are born until they leave your nest.

When they are tiny, call their sex organs by their proper names from the start. I remember when my son was circumcised, the pediatrician rambled on and on about my son’s penis, testicles, scrotum…he never called it junk (my personal slang favorite), or ding-dong, or weenie.  And don’t think your son is off the hook learning about periods just cuz he won’t ever menstruate. If he has a sister, do them both a favor and teach him about periods. Plus you might even earn extra points from your daughter in law someday!  He doesn’t need all the information you gave your daughter.  (Check out the last post on my blog about talking to your daughter about periods.) Here is your homily: Every month, God gives a girl a chance to have a baby.  Her uterus (the place where the baby lives) fills with nutrients and blood.  (Actually the lining of the uterus fills up with blood and nutrients.) If there is no baby, then the blood comes out her vagina.  It gets “caught” by a pad or tampon.  That’s all you need to say.  Be sure to ask if he has other questions about it.  Remind him that you are the expert and that you are happy to talk about it. There is no magical age to tell your son.  In fact, it might depend on your family structure.  My son has an older sister so he will learn it sooner than if he had an older brother. Leave your box of tampons on the stairs and maybe he will ask about the box and that can start your conversation. Our kids are smart; they know when we are cranky so tell your son about PMS when you have it.  One day this past spring, in the middle of our home school day, my son barked out, “Mom, I think you are about to start your period cuz you are so crabby right now!”

TIP: Tell your sons about periods.  Weave sexuality talks into daily life. Often.

Posted by AMY in Sex Education


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