I would like to highlight a couple of wonderful books that I received and reviewed for free at a conference I attended recently. The author Dina Alexander, is founder of Educate Empower Kids. She and some buddies wrote several books, two including How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography and 30 days of Sex Talks. You can find them on Facebook at www.facebook.com/educateempowerkids/ and also at their website at www.educateempowerkids.org.
I love the information in these books. They are not books that you read with your kids aloud, but they does provide conversation starters. She answers several questions that I think are crucial. Question #1: “If I talk to my kids about pornography, won’t that give them ideas”? Question number 2: “Won’t talking about pornography create a unhealthy curiosity that was not there before”? I am just going to quote what Dina states on the topic. Dina’s answer is “yes, I was giving them ideas and she wants to give your children the same ideas.” “Give your kids the idea that you are a great source of reliable, honest information. Let them know through your words and actions that you can speak calmly, comfortably and rationally about human issues that affect all of us, namely curiosity, and sexuality. As you initiate discussions about these topics and pornography, share your personal experiences, spiritual values, and expectations kindly and thoughtfully, and your child will soon get the idea that his parents are human and make mistakes. They will also see that you are ready to talk about tough topics and more importantly, listen to them. I promise that as you answer questions openly and sincerely, your kids will come back to you for your wisdom and empathy.” (Dina Alexander, guest blogger on FamilyGoodThings.com)
As a teacher, I talked unashamed about sexuality with the girls I coached, giving them logical and loving reasons for why God has the “rules” in place that he does. I tried to be kind and thoughtful with these beautiful girls as they were growing and learning about their own sexuality. I was absolutely sincere and now those girls are wives and moms and to this day, I have a relationship with many of them. I have the privilege of seeing their kids on social media and am proud to call them friends and fellow mamas. So yes, I agree with Dina, be sincere and answer their questions honestly.
Dina goes on to say, “I also want you to give your kids the idea that there is nothing shameful or “awkward” in asking questions about and discussing one of the most amazing experiences available to human beings: true intimacy expressed through sexuality. By discussing the positive aspects of sex, you can help them know that sexual intimacy is good, beautiful, and enjoyable. Follow this up with a discussion about healthy sexuality’s opposite….pornography. Take time to explain how porn is the opposite of intimacy, can be addictive, can condition the brain, harm relationships, and damage a person’s ability to relate and empathize with others. Finally, if you continue these discussions at each age of development, your child will get the idea that curiosity is a God-given gift. He will get the idea that his feelings and questions are normal and natural when you let him know that any question is OK and that you will not judge him harshly for asking anything.” (Dina Alexander, FamilyGoodThings.com)
When your kids are elementary age, they need to know what porn is, where you find it and what to do when they see it, and why it should be avoided. You can read other posts under the Category “pornography” on this blog for more information. When your kids are teens, they need to know that culture is targeting them in this area. They need to know porn is addictive and damaging to society. Porn destroys love and relationships and can destroy marriage. However, there is redemption from pornography. Again, check out other Pornography posts on this blog.
Please check out Dina Alexander at http://www.educateempowerkids.org.
My daughter just turned 12, I am getting ready to go through Educate and Empower Kids Book, 30 Days of Sex Talks with my daughter. Thanks, Dina! And if you ever come across amomtribe.com, be a guest blogger!
TIP: Give your kids the right ideas, not the culture’s ideas. YOURS.
Posted by Amy in Pornography and Sex Education