Talking to Your Sons About Porn…

KaaI took my kids to the movies and we saw Jungle Book at the cheapie theatre.  The snake, Kaa presents a great illustration to use when talking to your kids about “bad pictures”.  Kaa wraps herself around Mowgli so slowly, so cunning, so sneakily, conning him into looking into her eyes so that he is mesmerized and then, while Mowgli is getting drowsy, she nearly devours him whole! Saved by Baloo, Mowgli is thrust into freedom without even hardly understanding that he was almost Kaa’s next meal.  The porn industry is out to devour our sons.  Obviously, you can’t talk about porn with your 9-year-old son, like you can with your 16-year-old son, but you better be talking about it.  When your 9-year-old is playing video games on your computer, ask him if he has seen any bad pictures pop up.  Explain to him that looking at bad pictures can cause our brains to be changed.   (check out the pornography category of this blog to learn more).  Teach him what to do when he encounters it. (Again, check out posts in the porn category).  More importantly, teach your son to value woman.  Practice it in your home.  I take my son on dates where he has to open doors for me.  I require him to help me around the house.  He is not allowed to hit his sister or any other girl for any reason.  He volunteers at our church so that he has opportunities to treat girls with respect, kindness and politeness.  He has been taught to look his sister in the eye and apologize and ask for forgiveness when needed.  He is learning how to honor and protect women.   The porn industry would like nothing more than for their patrons to see woman as objects….beings without souls or spirits…just bodies, but those ladies were once some one’s little girl.  ( Only 13% of women in the porn industry are there by choice. You don’t have to let your mind wander very far to figure out how the rest got there.)  Be selective about who your son’s friends are for as long as you can.  More importantly, be selective about what other adults speak into your son’s life as well.  Limit the violence that he is exposed to while he is young. One of my college besties tells her son that women are delicate flowers that need to be treated with respect and kindness.  The porn industry can and will shred your son, devour him from limb to limb.  It’s a cycle of shame, bitterness, fear,  and addiction that alters the neuropathways of the brain….An addiction that you want your son to avoid at all costs. But there is loads of hope…teach and train your boys about valuing women.  Teach them to honor, respect, and be kind to the women in their life (teachers, neighbors, siblings, family members).  Make him help you bring in the groceries and require him to look people in the eye.  (My son certainly hasn’t arrived but we are working on it.)  Teach your son to be a warrior.  A hero.  An advocate.  The world could use a few more gentlemen, don’t you think?

TIP: Take your son out on a date this week.  Let him practice being a gentleman.

Posted by Amy in Pornography and Sex Education

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