Finding the Unexpected…

original-logos-2016-Apr-6009-570bf016c0995My husband was up on the roof cleaning the gutters recently and he discovered the head of a bunny in our gutter.  No body.  Just a head.  With the brains still inside. Totally unexpected….Some bird of prey must have swiped the poor bunny for his next meal but inadvertently dropped the head on my roof and then the bunny head rolled into our gutter. Didn’t see that coming….at all!  Sometimes our kids find the unexpected on their devices.  As handy as our electronics are, they can perpetuate all sorts of habits too.  A mom friend of mine told me that her pre- school aged child was to practice a phonics game at home on the Ipad per request of the child’s teacher.  While playing the game, a Victoria’s Secret add popped up.  Mom was mortified.  You may think, “What is the big deal? We see the same adds on TV.”  We live in a society that wishes to  desensitize….everything…from violence to sex to pornography to modesty.  With the average kid getting a cell phone at age 10, our kids are exposed to all sorts of things that their minds are not ready to process yet.  My friends over at Porn Proof Kids who wrote the book Good Pictures, Bad Pictures are working on a book geared for small kiddos…as in pre-school age…because kids are getting exposed to “bad pictures” at younger and younger ages.  Check out their website at http://www.pornproofkids.org.  Before you give your kids a cell phone or a device with internet access, be sure to dialogue with your kids about the dangers of pornography.  Pick up a copy of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures and read it with your kids prior to giving them the device.  Teach them how to deal with  the unexpected when they are exposed to it.

TIP: Your kids will be exposed to some sort of porn.  Teach them how to deal with it. Follow the CAN DO plan from Good Pictures, Bad Pictures. C=Close my eyes immediately. A=Always tell a trusted adult.   N=Name it when I see it. D= Distract myself.  O=Order my thinking brain to be the boss.  http://www.pornproofkids.org

Posted by AMY in pornography

 

Failure and Fortitude

clipart-heart-clip_art_illustration_of_a_red_heart_with_a_white_swirl_0071-0904-2000-1163_SMUThose poor millennials….they have such a bad rap.  People label them lazy, entitled, spoiled.  Armed with man buns, essential oils, and yoga pants, they could save the world…if only they would leave the coffee shop.  (Don’t be totally offended here, I know plenty of hard-working millennials too!!)  My question is…How did they get this way?  Was it their parents? Our culture? Did the school system fail them?  What’s the deal?  I taught this age group when they were in high school and do you know what I noticed?  They never learned how to handle failure and how could they when everyone got a trophy just for participating!  If they forgot assignments, mom rushed their missing work to school or better yet, did it for them.  If learning was hard, there was an excuse.  Prom had “promposals” and  dresses purchased  were nearly as expensive as my wedding dress.  Everyone took a limo to prom.  People peaked in high school.  What if high school was more about failing than peaking?  I don’t mean grades, but what if parents stepped back and stopped swooping in and saving their kids.  Let them starve if they forget lunch (and they won’t starve).  Take the zero for the missing assignment.  Let them make mistakes…even a few big ones.

I have a cousin that worked for a drug company.  For five years, her team did experiment after experiment in an attempt to creat a new drug candidate.  Guess what?  They got nothing.  As an outsider to the antibacterial world, one may think that her research was a five-year failure, but in their “failure” they actually made many discoveries and advanced the knowledge of their field.  Have you ever had a failure that led to a discovery?  Sometimes our failures, if we learn from them, can be the best learning experiences ever….. and actually cause us to gain fortitude.  Fortitude is “strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage.” (Webster’s Ninth New College Dictionary)  I used to mountain bike.  I crashed…a lot…sometimes I got hurt too. But with every crash, I learned a little bit more about terrain, and how to use my brakes, gears, and my body to be a better biker.  I got stronger physically and mentally.  My encouragement to you is this:  Let your kids fail even if it embarrass them and you. When your kids fail, don’t assume it is a failure of your parenting.  Many  times, it is just them being childish or foolish.  The natural consequences of failing can be the best teacher in the long run.  Failure, when there is learning gained, can lead to  fortitude.   I don’t know about you,but we could use a few more people  with a whole lot of FORTITUDE.

TIP: Let ’em Fail!