A friend called me out today. She said, “Why aren’t you writing any more on your blog? People need to hear what you have to say. I need to hear what you have to say. Start blogging again. It’s time.” That is a true friend. One who calls you out when you need it. A straight shooter. I don’t really have an excuse except that I get intimidated by the big guns who post/blog about pornography and abstinence..big guns like Covenant Eyes, or Educate Empower Kids, people who have lots of letters after their name…BUT then I remembered. God uses ALL of us to further his kingdom. I felt conviction, so I repented about my lazy blogging and am moving forward. You grow where you are planted and so it’s time to grow again.
Conviction can sound like a bad thing. But it’s not..it is more of a challenge to change. Conviction is not shame or guilt. It’s a strong encouragement to move in a different direction. Conviction often moves us toward repentance which is always a good thing. Our kids need their parents to be straight shooters…call them out. Your teenager with a phone needs you to call him out on what he is looking at on his phone. Remind him that the phone was given to him on loan and you can check it out whenever you feel led. Check out his apps, his texts… “Oh but I don’t want to invade his privacy”….your child is your CHILD. Teenagers are still children with an underdeveloped pre-frontal cortex which means they can and will make stupid decisions. So you need to parent them and hold them responsible for what they are looking at. Conviction sounds a lot like accountability….Every teenager needs it.
Your littles need a dose of accountability too. Monitor them during playtime so that it’s not a “free for all”. They need to learn self-control. It’s not okay to write in books, rip out pages, dump all their toys. You are building a foundation for self control, discipline, and fair play. Character is developed at home, not at school. Hold your little people and big people accountable for dinner time manners, making their beds, putting dishes in the sink or dishwasher. All of these little things translate to self-control and discipline later. Stop them when they pick their nose and especially when boys adjust themselves or even fondle themselves…It leads to habits that are hard to break later once hormones kick in because their brains become conditioned to their hand gratification at a young age. If they keep it up, self gratification can become a habit especially when they get exposed to pornography. Mix that in with a sexual culture, hormones, and an Iphone where porn is easy to access, and you have a perfect storm that could have been prevented by just teaching a little bit of self control when they were young.
TALK to your kids about everything….especially sex. When your 4 year old asks, “What is sex?” Don’t freak out. Just say that it is a special relationship that God designed for married people. You don’t have be graphic until you get a graphic question. You can tell a 6 year old who asks more detail. “God gave men a special seed and He gave women a special seed. When the time is right, God allows the seeds to come together and make a baby.” These are all questions that I fielded this week with young moms and it reminded me it was time to blog again. (Thank you LB for encouraging me.)
I have been speaking to MOPS groups and teens so I haven’t been a total hermit but I needed the reminder to get my booty in gear again. And so do you….what do you need to call your kids out on? Books they are reading..movies…media time…relationships…language..maybe they are just plain lazy. What do you need to tighten up with your little ones? Take a break from media and read to your kids. Talk to them in the car instead of watching a video. We just finished a media fast for a week and just taking media away erased some issues I was having. Try it. I know it’s hard; especially if media is the only way you get a break, but let me just challenge you to teach your kids to play alone. Our culture is one of indulgence especially in media. Learn to function without it now and then.
Conviction leads us to repentance…which leads us to growth. I want to grow as a parent and I want my kids to grow into mature, self-controlled adults who Love God and Love others.
Posted by Amy in Abstinence, Pornography, Sex Education