Yup! You read that correctly…a friend of mine saw that on her daughter’s cell phone. A boy from school texted her and wrote, “Send me a nude.” Let me just translate that for your stinging mama’s ears…that brazen boy wanted the girl to take a nude photo of herself and send it to him. Seriously, what is this world coming to?? Pornography has so de-sensitized our brains that young men think nothing of asking a girl for such a picture. I have to wonder if pornography is teaching young boys about sexuality, rather than parents teaching boys about sexuality. Unfortunately, we live in a society where sexting is so common and a girl does whatever the guy asks to get him to stop pressuring her or she consents in order to cement the relationship, meaning she thinks that the boy will stay with her forever if she concedes to having sex or provide sexual acts. We need to raise daughters who are confident enough to say, “NO”, even if it means no boyfriend and no date to prom. We live in a culture where girls are supposed to provide sex acts in exchange for affection. In a recent article I read that (by fightthenewdrug.com) a 15 year old girl said that she didn’t enjoy sex at all, but that getting it out of the way was the only way her boyfriend would stop pressuring her and watch a movie. WHAT?? One girl said, that her boyfriend told her, she could have a kiss if she gave him a blow job……cuz that’s an even exchange….NOT. So how do we raise daughters in a culture like this? FAMILY IDENTITY. Help your daughter become confident in who she is without needing a boyfriend. DADS, date your daughters…tell her she is enough and beautiful. Spend as much time with her as you can. Pour into her..Take her out for ice-cream every Sunday and tell her all the things you love about her. If you are a single mom, do the same. Pour into her so that she has confidence. Confident girls know how to say NO and confident girls walk away because they know they are worth the wait. If you are a Jesus loving family, remind your daughter that she is a princess of the King of Kings. I tell my daughter that boys take longer to grow up and mature than girls and that’s why high school relationships often don’t last. Get your daughter involved in after school activities that help her become confident. Help her find a niche like athletics, drama, or music, or even a job but remind her that her niche doesn’t define her but it does give her confidence and it keeps her too busy for a boyfriend. If possible, model an excellent marriage so that your daughter longs for marriage and not a relationship that ends in heart-break. And finally, talk to her..all the time about everything. Her identity needs to be in your family and not her friends or her relationships. Whether you are a single mom, blended family, or married, spend a ton of time as a family. Play board games, watch movies, go for walks, bike rides, hikes, ski, sit and talk at coffee shops….the more time you spend with your kids while they are young, the more time they will want to spend with you as they get older. Parenting is hard; you might not even like your daughter at times, but the more time you spend with her, the better chance she has at becoming a confident woman, so confident that a boy wouldn’t even dare to ask for a nude.
Posted by AMY in Pornography and Abstinence
The article that I read was called Sex Before Kissing: How 15-year-old Girls are Dealing with Porn-Addicted Boys. Published April 1, 2016 by Melinda Tankard Reist. Go to fightthenewdrug.org for more information or to read the article.
TIP: Limit media use in your family. Wait as long as possible to get your kids a phone and when you do, get the simplest one possible. Teach your daughter confidence. Model confidence.